The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet

Short. Clean. Painfully punny. 663+ jokes your kids don't want to hear but absolutely need to.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

😄 Dad Joke of the Day

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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Fresh Out of the Dad Oven

Why was the medieval wheelwright appointed council spokesperson?

He had clearly spoken for the community whenever things started rolling.

Why was the ancient Greek sundial builder invited to civic debates?

His sharp perspective always cast new light on the issues.

Why did the ancient mosaic artist stay patient while decorating the villa atrium?

Because he knew everything would eventually fall into place.

Why was the Renaissance fresco painter always in demand across the city?

He knew how to draw a crowd and leave his mark on history.

Why did the medieval cartographer take so much pride in his maritime charts?

Because he was determined to put coastal trade on the map.

Why was the thermos of hot cocoa the favorite companion on the frozen ski slope?

Because it was completely dialed in and knew how to pour on the charm.

Why were the wool mittens such a dependable winter companion?

Because whatever the chilly forecast held, they took matters into their own hands.

Why did the snowshoe hare always win winter hide-and-seek games?

Because it always knew how to stay one hop ahead in the drifts.

Why did the stone fireplace in the winter cabin earn everyone's admiration?

It was grate at sparking warm conversation whenever guests gathered round.

Why did the bobsled crew stay upbeat before the downhill medal run?

Because their season had been on a smooth downhill run from the start.

Why was the family backyard hammock the most popular spot on sunny weekends?

Because it gave everyone a chance to hang out and swing by.

Why did the family board game night bring everyone closer together?

Because no matter how the dice fell, everyone enjoyed taking their turn.

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What is a dad joke?

A dad joke is a short, clean, pun-based joke delivered with maximum confidence and zero shame. It's the kind of joke that makes your kids groan, your wife roll her eyes, and your dog leave the room. Science has yet to explain why hearing one makes you feel briefly smarter and visibly worse at the same time.

This site is a growing collection of the best dad jokes on the internet: one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and puns about animals, food, work, school, sports, tech, space and more. Every joke is family-friendly — the only thing at risk of injury is everyone's patience. Start with the dad joke generator, browse the categories, or come back every day for a new dad joke of the day.